Soccer, the Un-American Game!

Soccer, the Un-American Game!








I have felt for some time, actually, ever since I saw my first Soccer match, on TV, back in the late 60’s, that Soccer is an inherently un-American game.

Now before you go off on me, consider a few things:

Americans have been raised, and have taken pride, in individualism. At least, that held true through my generation and the generation now in their thirties and forties.

Soccer does not celebrate individualism. They keep “sharing” that ball. Nobody keeps the ball for more than a few seconds and it is kicked on to somebody else. See? That is un-American. We Americans want to grab the ball and hold onto it and carry it across the goal line while the remainder of the team makes every effort to see that the individual with the ball is successful. Ain’t that way in Soccer!

Soccer is a “collectivist” game. Now make the word association with “collectivism” and you have… “socialism”, right?! Yep!

No wonder the game is shunned by my generation… and those just behind me.

It is also no wonder that the children of today are playing soccer in droves. Those "Temples of Liberalism", we laughingly call “Public Schools” have been brainwashing individualism out of them for the past 50 years now! And they have had a great deal of success at it. So, the kids who are products of the Public School System are much more susceptible to the suggestion that they are unable to do anything on their own and must rely on the group to get the job done.

There! You have Soccer!

But, drive down the street, a short distance, to a vacant lot, or a neighborhood playground, and you won’t see soccer being played. You’ll see traditional sports such as basketball, baseball and football. Ah, makes me ole heart burst with pride!

Now add to the mix the absolute fact that Soccer is BORRRRRING! And you have another un-American quality!

And another thing… Americans want to use their hands. We are an industrious people. We use our hands to build and to tear down. One of the most frightening ideas to Americans is expressed very well, indeed, in the old axiom, “To have or hands tied”… meaning, of course, to not be able to DO anything! In Soccer... players are not allowed to use their hands! OUCH! Americans can’t abide that!

A cabbie is reported to have answered a reporter’s question about his dislike of soccer by saying that “Soccer is a game for guys in short pants, communists, too slow, and too boring!” Indeed!

Soccer has been referred to as “the Over There” sport. Meaning it is played in Europe, Asia, Africa, and South America, you know… “over there”.
Ice Hockey is referred to as an “Up There” sport. Meaning they play Ice Hockey in Canada, you know… “Up there”.

Now, admittedly we do have a rather good Hockey team here in North Carolina, “The Hurricanes”. They are stationed in Raleigh. But, all the rest of us Tar Heels, know that Raleigh, and its environs, are filled with "Yankees" from… you know… up there”. Leave Raleigh... and you leave Hockey…. even in a state with one of the best teams in the country!

Back to soccer. Did you know that 55% of all soccer games end in ties? Neither did I… until I read it over at www.soccersucks.net

Americans don’t believe in games ending in ties! Hell, there ought to be a winner! Period!

Soccer is not Objective! Also from www.soccersucks.net :
“Soccer is not objective. There is no play clock. The game doesn't end after the clock has run down. This adds bias, subjectivism and appeals to lower intellects, and it destroys the drama from last second victories. Contrast such clumsy timekeeping (shame on the Swiss, who should know better) and the lack of any discernable strategy with the strategic precision of the two-minute drill in football.
The lack of offensive chances leads to ties, which, as we know, suck. Soccer's "solution?" Let's randomize the result (in those cases where a tie suddenly becomes an affront, the "World" Cup) by having penalty kicks.”

Did you follow that?

And how about the "hooliganism" associated with soccer? Never a year goes by that we don’t see reports of “soccer hooligans” rioting at some soccer game somewhere in the world. Seems to me that "hooliganism" is fueled by the sheer frustration of watching a soccer game for hours and nobody wins! When I look at it that way, I begin to understand the riots, and killings, associated with soccer games worldwide!

To sum up, I think eventually soccer will catch hold in the US. About the time we colonize Mars.

Yes, Soccer is truly the “Game of the FUTURE” in America. And it always will be!

Longstreet